Therapy for Men
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart.
Maybe you’ve been anxious, angry, depressed, or just not feeling like yourself. Your relationship is struggling. Work is wearing you down. You’re more checked out than you want to be. Or maybe you’ve gotten good at pushing through, but you know something isn’t working anymore.
In-person therapy in Chico and online throughout California.
You can be functioning and still not be okay.
You’re still going to work. Taking care of your family. Handling what needs to be handled.
But maybe you’re more anxious than you used to be. More irritable. You’re exhausted, but you can’t really shut your brain off. You’re withdrawing from your wife or partner, losing patience with your kids, or finding yourself angry over things that shouldn’t bother you this much.
Maybe your marriage is struggling. Work has become miserable. You’ve lost motivation. You’re drinking more. You don’t sleep well. Or you just feel disconnected from a life that, on paper, you should be pretty happy with.
A lot of men wait until something gets bad enough that they can’t ignore it anymore.
You don’t have to.
Therapy can help you understand what’s going on, deal with what isn’t working, and start feeling more like yourself again.
Sometimes you know exactly what’s wrong. Sometimes you don’t.
You might be here because your marriage is struggling. You’re anxious all the time. You’re angry more than you want to be. You’re depressed, burned out, grieving, or dealing with something that happened years ago and still affects you.
Maybe becoming a dad has brought up more than you expected. Maybe work or responsibility has taken over your life. Maybe you’re going through a divorce, a major transition, or a period where you genuinely don’t know what comes next.
Or maybe nothing dramatic has happened.
You just know you haven’t felt like yourself for a while.
You don’t need to have the right words for it before you come in.
We can figure out what’s going on together.
What brings men to therapy?
Anxiety & Depression
Feeling overwhelmed, on edge, unmotivated, numb, or unlike yourself.
Relationships & Marriage
Conflict, disconnection, communication problems, separation, divorce, or trying to figure out what you want.
Anger & Irritability
A shorter fuse, resentment, shutting down, or reactions that feel bigger than you want them to.
Fatherhood & Family
The pressure of being a dad, changing relationships, responsibility, identity, and trying to be the father you want to be.
Trauma & Difficult Experiences
Things that happened recently or years ago that your mind and body haven't completely left behind.
Work, Stress & Burnout
Pressure, exhaustion, loss of motivation, overwork, or feeling like your entire life has become responsibility.
I’m Tommy Mattera,
I specialize in therapy for men.
I work with men dealing with anxiety, depression, anger, relationship problems, stress, fatherhood, trauma, and major life changes.
Sometimes you know exactly what the problem is. Sometimes you just know you haven’t felt like yourself for a while.
My approach to therapy is straightforward and collaborative. We’ll work to understand what’s actually going on, what keeps getting in the way, and what needs to change.
I’m not interested in giving you generic advice or asking you to spend an hour talking in circles. Therapy should help you understand yourself better, deal more effectively with what’s in front of you, and make meaningful changes in your life and relationships.
Thomas Mattera, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Ways to Work Together
Weekly Therapy
For most men, this is where we start.
We’ll meet regularly to work on what’s bringing you to therapy — whether that’s anxiety, depression, anger, your marriage or relationship, work, stress, fatherhood, or something harder to put your finger on.
Sessions are practical, direct, and focused on helping you understand what’s going on and make changes that carry into the rest of your life.
Intensives
Sometimes you don’t want to spend months working through something an hour at a time.
Intensives give us several hours of focused time to work on a specific issue, experience, or pattern without having to stop just as we’re getting somewhere.
They can be especially useful for trauma, a major life event, or something you’ve been stuck on for a long time.
Trauma and Difficult Experiences
Healing Doesn’t Have to Take Forever.
Some things don't stay in the past just because you understand what happened.
A difficult experience can keep showing up as anxiety, anger, avoidance, intrusive memories, physical reactions, or a sense that you're right back there again.
When that's part of what you're dealing with, I offer Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) — a focused approach to working with trauma and other experiences that continue to affect you.
“Now, when I feel the anger rising, I can pause, ask myself what’s really underneath, and choose a better response.
That change began with what I learned working with Tommy
”
That’s what this work actually looks like.
Focused Support That Connects with You.
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You’re carrying a lot, and it’s getting heavier. Whether it’s stress, anger, or feeling completely numb, you don’t have to figure it out alone. You’ve been told to just push through, but that’s not working anymore.
Therapy gives you a space to cut through the noise, make sense of what’s going on, and start feeling like yourself again.
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You’re trained to handle high-pressure situations, but that doesn’t mean the weight disappears. Therapy built for those who serve—no BS, no judgment, just real support. You don’t have time for fluff or someone who doesn’t understand the job.
Whether it’s the stress of the work, what it’s doing to your relationships, or just needing a place to unload, this is a space built for you.
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Fatherhood changes everything—whether you’re figuring it out for the first time or trying to balance the demands of being a dad with everything else in your life. It’s exciting, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming. No one really prepares you for how much your life shifts—your relationships, your sense of self, and the expectations (yours and everyone else’s).
Whether you're adjusting to life with a newborn, feeling distant from your partner, or just trying to manage the stress, therapy helps you find your footing and feel more confident in your role.
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Your partner has encouraged you to work on yourself, and maybe you’re realizing they’re right. You want to show up better in your relationship, but you’re not sure how. Maybe you struggle with communication, shut down during conflict, or feel like no matter what you do, it’s never enough.
This isn’t couples therapy—it’s about helping you understand yourself in relationships, break out of old patterns, and build real connection.
From A Deep Well
Through my work and my own life, I've become increasingly interested in a particular question: How do men become so competent at holding everything together that they lose access to themselves in the process?
From A Deep Well is where I write about that question — and about responsibility, relationships, fatherhood, marriage, and the patterns men inherit.
It's writing for men who are capable of carrying a lot, but have started to wonder what all that carrying is costing them.
If this has been going on for a while, it might be time to do something about it.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before starting.
The point is to understand what’s actually going on and decide how you want to work on it.